Wednesday, December 23, 2009

IT'S A......

BOY!!!! it's not the best picture, but apparently this little guy is just as stubborn as his sisters! So that's yesterday's big news! Jon is WAY beyond thrilled! He couldn't go with me to the ultrasound because he had duty the night before and couldn't get relieved until 9am. Since the ultrasound was at 8...well...bummer for us. So I had the ultrasound tech print the picture and seal it in an envelope for us! She was amazing, and I was so grateful that she humored us like that! Anyway...I picked Jon up on the way home from the hospital and we opened up the envelope almost as soon as we walked in the door! I was stunned! I wish I had thought to record it with the video camera! Jon was so thrilled! We got home a little before 11am, and he had polished off almost a whole bottle of champagne before 11:30!!! He's such a goober! But we are pretty dang excited about having a son! Jon's family name would have died if we didn't, so it's pretty special to that side of the family! Wow....a son. I'm gonna have a little boy. I'm not exactly sure what to do with boys! And I'm ashamed to admit that part of me is a little sad. Both of my girls were such fun babies, and they are such beautiful little girls, and seeing "it's a boy!!" on that sonogram just made it so real that my girls aren't my "babies" anymore. I mean, they are, but they are little girls now. Oh gosh...preggo hormones! Such fun! yesterday was a day of celebration! We chatted with our friends Derek, Katie, and their little girl Ella for a while, and the guys smoked cigars together to celebrate! Then I made a Shepherd's Pie for dinner, and after that we went over to Derek and Katie's house and played Super Mario on the Wii! That game is sooo fun! And Derek is a riot to play with! Such nice people they are! Then we all went to bed early, exhausted from a pretty emotional day!
Today was cleaning day! We got the house cleaned, and Jon (FINALLY!) got the backyard mowed and cleaned up! Man, it was a jungle out there! hehe! While he did that I went to the grocery store and got all the junk food I needed to make Monster Cookies, and the pies for Christmas dessert!! YUM! They are delicious! Jon also has some friends over today, so the house is buzzing. I am so looking forward to tomorrow, and having a fun Christmas Eve as a family!!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Restless tonight

So it's 9:30pm, and I should really be heading to bed, but I can't seem to get my brain to shut off. I have a very hectic morning ahead of me tomorrow! I have to have both girls up, fed, dressed and out the door at 7:00am, and everyone knows Caylie is SUPER hard to wake up. She's so much like her dad in that respect, it's scary! Waking her up is hard enough, but waking her up and actually getting her to eat, dress, let me do her hair, and get out to the car is just BEGGING for a temper tantrum! Thank God Hanna is more like me!! And the reason for all the fuss in the morning?? The ultrasound! Yep, the big one! The one where we get to find out if the baby is a boy or a girl! I'm not sure if we will find out yet or not. It's Jon's choice this time, since I didn't care one way or the other!! So I'm sure I'll have a big post about this tomorrow once we get home. =)

I am getting so excited for Christmas! Not like, little kid excited, but more mommy excited! This will be the first year that we really get into everything that is Christmas! We finally got a tree, and I put out some inside Christmas decorations! Caylie is so excited for Santa to come to or house! It's all she talks about lately, and boy, it sure gets her to behave! All I have to do is throw out a "you have to be a big girl and behave for Santa to bring toys for you! Or else you get rocks!!!"! The first time I said that to her, she said "no....I'm not gonna get ROCKS!!" It was so funny!! She's loving the Christmas season! Hanna is a little young of course...but every morning when she sees the tree all lit up, she points and makes this little ooohhhh, and ahhhhh sound! It makes me smile every time! I can't wait to see their faces light up on Christmas morning!!!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

I'm Still Here.....Really!!

I know it's been forever since I posted, but so much has happened, and I have so much to say! So I'll just jump into it and get started!

First things first..... SURPRISE!!!

We're having another baby!
Baby Gallon #3 is due May 1st, 2010

Yep, that's right! We only thought we were done! After Hanna was born, Jon and I discussed whether or not we would decide to have more children many times. We came to the understanding that we were content with our beautiful girls! We decided we would use birth control for a couple years, revisit the issue when Hanna was 2, and then decide with 100% certainty if we would have more or not, before making anthing permanent (meaning Jon would get a vasectomy). Well....I've become a big believer in the line "if you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans"! I think he's having a good ole' belly laugh at us! I'm struggling with it. In all honesty I have been angry, sad, confused, and bitter a lot in the past couple of months. I have good days, and I have bad days. Sometimes I just want to be angry, and wonder "why did this happen to me?". I feel guilty for not "wanting" this child, and I wonder if I will treat it differently, if it will recognize the fact that it's an "oops baby". I hate myself for thinking that I could love this child less than it's two sisters that were so desperately desired. My heart tells me these thoughts are irrational, and that I know better. But my brain is in a state of denial, and fights acceptance. It's gotten a lot better in the last couple of weeks. I had my first "I can do this" moment last week. I was doing some dishes in the kitchen while Caylie and Hanna played together in Caylie's room. It struck me when all I could hear was the sound of giggling coming from them, and I couldn't help but stand there, smile to myself, and know in my heart that I'm going to be fine. God wouldn't give this child to us if we couldn't handle it. I know we'll be alright, and there is room in my heart for this baby. And of course....Jon is praying for a boy! We're not sure if we'll find out the sex or not yet. The ultrasound is on Tuesday, so we have a couple more days to think about it!

Hanna turned 1 on October 19th!! Can you believe it! That first year just flew by, and I found myself looking at her and wondering how it's possible for time to go by so fast. Her dad wasn't home to celebrate her birthday with us. Unfortunately he had to spend most of his time in October AND November underway, so we didn't see him a whole lot for about six weeks. But since he wasn't home, me and the girls hung out with our dear friends the Tates for Hanna's birthday, and it was still a good day. We also made plans to have a 1st birthday bash for her on our vacation back home to CO in November!!

The day she was born! October 19, 2008
One year old already!

Some of my favorites from our family photo shoot:

Haha!  This last one always makes me laugh!  My poor nephew had to be thinking "dress up clothes?  NO WAY!  Who needs that girly stuff!?  I got a FOOTBALL!!"